More Like Jesus

Word of the Week: Vulnerability
Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”
- Mark 3:3 NIV

Mini-Message

Shame thrives in silence. It tells you to hide, to avoid vulnerability.

But healing begins when you do the exact thing your heart is screaming at you not to do—when you stand up, expose yourself, and show up just as you are.

Jesus told the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”

Terrifying? Yes.

Necessary? Absolutely.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s showing up anyway.

The good news? Jesus stands with you.

The Five Minute Version

I struggled to write this one because of shame.

Who wants to talk about shame?

Good thing social worker and qualitative researcher Brené Brown says shame is universal. She calls shame “the fear of disconnection.” Shame is the thing inside us that we’re scared let others see. It is the thing in us that, if made public, will cause us to be rejected.

Everyone experiences it, except maybe sociopaths who lack an ability to connect with others at all.

Growing up, my household was full of shame. I didn’t know this as a child, but as a rule of thumb, the less you talk about your emotions, the more shame you harbor. That’s how it works— shame thrives in silence.

Shame is a weird paradox because the more we have it, the less worthy we think we are, and the more we shut down with the people in our lives. Then, the more shut down we become, the less connection we have, the more unworthy we feel, and the more shame we feel.

Shame creates a vicious, downward cycle.

In this story, we meet a man who probably lived with a deep sense of shame. His shriveled hand—caused by disease through no fault of his own—likely made him feel unworthy. He lived in a culture where physical flaws often carried social stigma.

Jesus sees the man at the synagogue—a public place where the community gathered—and immediately wants to help him. There are three key players in this story: the Pharisees, the man with the hand, and Jesus. Each has something to teach us.

We will talk about the Pharisees next, but let’s start with the man. Kudos to him for even leaving the house. Just being there tells us he had inner strength.
You have inner strength, too—probably more than you realize.

But the man was still hiding. So what did Jesus tell him to do?

“Stand up in front of everyone.”

Can you imagine the thoughts racing through his head?

Are you serious, Jesus?!

Brené Brown might say that the man’s behavior signaled a strong sense of unworthiness. She
says the people who feel loved and connected share one key trait: they believe they’re worthy.5

So how do you discover worthiness?

You stand up. Worthiness begins with vulnerability.

The only way to overcome your shame is to do the exact thing your shame tells you not to do: make yourself vulnerable.

You cannot grow if you hide.

You cannot grow if you let fear of being found unworthy controls your actions.

You have to stand up, just as you are. Not someday when you get your stuff together. Now. Vulnerability is about emotional exposure. It’s terrifying, but it’s the only way to grow.

Right now, something about you is like the man’s shriveled hand. Maybe it’s obvious, or maybe you’ve done a fine job of covering it up. But shame doesn’t just go away. You can try to sidestep it or outsmart it or just cover it up forever like a permanent scar, but it will continue to damage your sense of worthiness, and prevent you from experiencing true connection with others. Shame will beat you down and keep you there if you let it.

You can heal from your shame, but to do so, have to confront it head-on. And it’s not easy. As Brown puts it, “learning how to be vulnerable has been a street fight for me.” Overcoming shame means standing up, exposing yourself, and making yourself vulnerable to the community.

The actor John Wayne famously said, “courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” We often think of courage as the willingness to be socked in the jaw. That's courage, sure, but I wonder if the deeper courage is being willing to confront your own, unnamed, buried
shame.

The good news? Jesus stands with you.

Pray
Lord, give me the wisdom to recognize my own sense of shame, the courage to stand up and be vulnerable, and the comfort and power to know that you are with me and will take care of me, no matter what happens. Amen.
Live It
The big question is, what is your source of shame, but that may be too difficult to answer directly. If so, try to identify clues. For example, what triggers you emotionally? If positive or inspiring, why do you find such power in it? Is there a negative fear behind that feeling?

⁵ Brené Brown, “The Power of Vulnerability,” TEDx Houston, January 3, 2011, https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=iCvmsMzlF7o.